When the student is ready . . .

Have you heard the saying, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”? It seems to have endured for a long time, so it must carry a grain of truth. And while there may be debate about whether this proverb came from Buddhism or Taoism, it nonetheless conveys the idea that when a person is prepared for their next phase of learning or growth, the right mentor, teacher, or guide will naturally come into their life. This applies to finding a yoga teacher, or really any other type of teacher or mentor, too.

Personally, I don’t think it’s as mysterious and law-of-attraction-y as it sounds. If you’re in the market for a new red truck, you want four-wheel drive and an extended cab, then naturally, you start noticing every truck on the road that meets that criteria. If you’re planning a trip to Thailand for the first time, you might mention it at the bookstore getting travel books, or at Costco doing domestic resupply. Pretty soon, everyone you meet seems to have some connection to Thailand. You may not be actively searching for a teacher, but you’ll probably recognize one when they appear. Spirit seeks expansion and coaxes us toward each next phase of growth.

Encountering Yoga Teachers: My Story

I’ve had deep relationships with several yoga teachers over 23 years of practice, and I’d say the aphorism has held true. When distance running was a regular part of my life, I sought physical challenge and mental discipline. Lo and behold, I discovered a teacher who presented yoga as a full-throttle system of mental, spiritual, and physical development, and a flame caught fire inside me. 

The Yoga Teacher Who Introduced Me To Shadow Yoga

My first yoga teacher, Mark Horner, guided (hammered) us through deep, dynamic practices that sometimes lasted 2.5 hours . . . no long savasanas, no restorative postures, no permission to do what we felt like doing. Mark introduced me to his yoga teachers, the founders of Shadow Yoga, through whom I learned even more about the wealth of wisdom that undergirds this ancient, intelligent system. I was fortunate to study annually with Sundernath and Emma Balnaves, and also attend weekly classes with Mark to practice and assimilate what they taught.

A Yoga Teacher For Therapeutic Yoga

I was a well-established yoga teacher when I got divorced and needed to expand my professional offerings. I’d trained as a therapist previously, so I began looking for ways to combine that early training with the depth and passion I’d found in yoga. Right around that time, a friend encouraged me to attend a special conference related to yoga therapy, and it was there that I met the person who would become my next yoga teacher, Mukunda Stiles. He offered a two-year Therapeutic Yoga training program in New York, and I soon found myself traveling there once a month to complete the course.

Individual yoga therapy meant I could return to working with people one-on-one. Like talk therapy, yoga therapy included mental and emotional components, but also acknowledged the wisdom of the physical body and internal energetic network. Unlike the principles of hard work, discipline and persistence that had guided my practice up to that point, Mukunda demonstrated how compassion is an important component of any therapeutic relationship. He believed that we can always find something to help a person feel better, even if it’s simply acknowledging pain or fear. This humanistic perspective reminded me of a pioneer in the world of therapy, Carl Rogers, whose professional approach held each client with unconditional positive regard. Today, I aim to bring these same principles into my Therapeutic Yoga class.

I have always been a physically active person, and it was probably this aspect of yoga that initially appealed to me. For many years I was drawn to the firmness and discipline of male yoga teachers, including Mukunda, who taught that something need not be enjoyable to be valuable. I grew up skiing, biking and swimming in Puget Sound with the neighborhood boys, and I never wanted to be left behind. That determination served me well as I pursued the path of yoga, for – as anyone who’s tried Shadow Yoga realizes – its benefits are not always immediately evident. Those experiences, I think, gave me just enough comfort with discomfort to walk through the fire of those teachers, something I still rely on in my personal sadhana today.

Covid changed the teacher student relationship with Mark, namely because his school closed its doors. I still consult with him occasionally, and I will always think of him as my first real teacher. Fortuitously, however, the morphing of that relationship led to a growing relationship with a female teacher, Emma Balnaves. As the co-founder of Shadow Yoga, Emma possesses that rare combination of discipline and compassion that was needed in my life at the time. She is firm, disciplined and has high expectations for her students, but she also reveals a nuance and reverence for the practice that seemed invisible to me before. That reverence was undoubtedly there in the earlier teachers, and I was undoubtedly not attuned enough to notice. So, as I have evolved as a practitioner, my relationships with yoga teachers have evolved and expanded to support a deepening path.

Teacher-Student Relationship: Gurushishyapadam

The value of the teacher-student relationship (gurushishyapadam, in Sanskrit) is not limited to yoga, meditation or other spiritual practices. The alchemical bond that develops between a student’s sincere inquiry and a teacher’s lived experience is how all ancient trades, crafts, sciences and introspective arts have survived. A lineage tradition exemplifies the principle that knowledge becomes wisdom when it is absorbed and digested. Therefore, one can only receive said wisdom from someone who has worked with the teachings deeply, thoroughly and repeatedly, until they have become part of the fabric of their being. How would you know how to change a tire, train for a marathon, or replicate your grandmother’s green bean casserole, without the guidance of someone who’d done it many times before?

Developing the Teacher-Student Relationship: Building Trust

The development of a trusting relationship between teacher and student does not, of course, happen instantaneously. It grows slowly: it is cultivated over time. Yoga teachers, like all teachers, should be evaluated – tested even – not for perfection but for integrity (teaching only what they know) and honesty. A good teacher knows what they don’t know, and shares judiciously what they do. 

And the same is true for students, who earn the trust of their yoga teacher through sincerity, consistency and a willingness to tolerate discomfort. If a student can struggle without criticism and frustration, they are laying the groundwork for the transformation that is possible in the presence of a powerful teacher.

Good teachers will not reveal everything at once, and will not impart protected wisdom to a casual student. This is the hidden code of gurushishyapadam. Teachings are given to match a student, not given to all students. Such discernment supports sustainable growth in the student, without overwhelming them or offering too little challenge. Good teachers honor this tradition and ask, every day, that the students, the teacher, and the teachings themselves be protected and preserved.

Finding The Right Yoga Teacher

Not every student will identify with every teacher, and not every teacher can (or should) accommodate every student. Ideally, the relationship is nurtured gradually, through many small interactions, just like other meaningful relationships. Contrary to popular opinion, feeling exposed, challenged, or even a little pissed off might indicate that a teacher is just right for you. Be wary of teachers who single out lithe, flexible bodies as examples, who make you proud of your physical abilities, who tell you what a beautiful practitioner you are (FYI I’ve done all these things in my classroom, Hail Mary, full of grace . . .). While this kind of language may seem benign or even helpful, it can disguise a superficial understanding of yoga that elevates physical ability (which is usually inherited, anyway) and drives attachments even deeper. On the other hand, if you feel a little irritated toward the teacher (I’ve been there many times myself) then perhaps something important has been stirred up, something you can eventually be free from.

Occasionally, the recognition that you’ve found your teacher comes more quickly and decisively. You feel a spark, a stirring in your soul, a knowing. In that case, I suggest you follow it with an open heart. The most reliable information often comes from a quiet voice within, and it may be getting your attention so you don’t let something truly special pass you by. With so many gimmicks and self-improvement hacks coming at us these days, developing a relationship with a true teacher is rare. And it has the power to change your life.

As you embark upon the journey, you might consider the following guidelines. These principles have held true for me after more than two decades of being a practitioner, a teacher and a person who came into the world with a high dose of skepticism. While these characteristics apply to finding the right yoga teacher, they could also be applied to any other type of teacher.

Five Characteristics To Look For In A Genuine Yoga Teacher

1. A teacher has a teacher, who has a teacher, who has a teacher . . .

In some traditions, students wear white before their initiation and orange or red afterward, symbolizing crossing through the fire of their teacher. A credible yoga teacher has willingly stepped into this fire, has done the work, and teaches from a potent, burnished position of understanding. They will ask you to work, but they will never ask you to do something they themselves have not grappled with and come through themselves. 

Teachers develop an ability to withstand potent practices and constructive criticism, while still maintaining reverence for their teachers. Teachers get their s*&t stirred up by their teachers, and they’ve found a way to endure the discomfort without losing faith. This dynamic is part of the tapasya (purifying fire) necessary for perceiving habits and attachments. We want a teacher who challenges us, who sees our blind spots and offers support in overcoming them.

2. A teacher has a sadhana

Sadhana refers to the efforts one makes on their given path as a practitioner, beyond their role as a teacher. If they are teaching meditation, they meditate. If they are teaching writing, they write. If they are teaching yoga, they practice yoga, working with the material given by their teacher. The teacher’s teacher may or may not be living, but a good teacher stays connected to the wisdom and inspiration of their teacher through the personal sadhana.

Attending classes is not sadhana, reading books is not sadhana, continuing education is not sadhana. 

Sadhana requires action - doing, living the practice. 

Sadhana requires self-direction and self-motivation, which is what makes the tradition a living, breathing entity that carries power from one generation to the next. Sadhana is ultimately what a yoga teacher will ask of you, and where your unique, personal relationship with the practice will grow. Delve deeper into the concept of sadhana in this recent blog.

3. A teacher does not seek your approval

A teacher possesses a breadth of knowledge that is doled out incrementally, over time, to students who show up. They know where the path is going and they reverse-engineer what they teach — offering you something that is manageable but challenging — as part of an overarching, progressive curriculum. The material they teach may be tedious, rigorous or enchanting, but it should be meaningful. They should be able to explain why they’re teaching what they’re teaching, its benefits, its role in your development and its contraindications. You want a teacher who has a plan, and a deep, lived understanding of the system they are teaching.

We would all prefer to be liked and appreciated, and yoga teachers are no exception. But the best teachers do not rely on approval from their students. There will be some things students enjoy and feel good about, some things they dislike and feel uncomfortable with and some things they feel neutral toward. The point is that worrying about what students think of you as a teacher is like a CPA hoping their clients don’t get upset with them because they owe taxes. The teaching is what it is, rooted in generational wisdom and practical application. Without that, when the desire for approval creeps in, teachers can easily lose their way.

This in no way applies to a teacher being arrogant, condescending or unkind. Teachers should treat all students with respect and friendliness, and make their classroom a welcoming environment. I’m saying that the instruction will be more potent, more relevant and more useful if it is determined by the teacher – along with their knowledge of the overall curriculum and the students in front of them – not what will make the students happy. 

4. A teacher is not afraid to challenge you

Building upon the previous point . . . a teacher sees capabilities in students that they themselves may not see. The teacher will, therefore, push you beyond what is psychologically or physically comfortable because they have seen enough to believe you can do it. They are not challenging you for the sake of challenge, but to build a foundation for what lies ahead. I’ll ask you to lie on a belly bolster because you’ll be learning uddiyana bandha eventually; I hold you in horse pose because I want the downward current of apana vayu to come alive in your system; I ask you to stop and watch me demonstrate because, eventually, I want the movement to be so alive in you that you forget where you learned it. It is the job of the teacher, the coach or the mentor to guide you, gradually, beyond your perceived limitations. That is where untapped power awaits.

5. A teacher has humility

A good teacher knows their limitations and stays in their lane. If you’re a licensed physical therapist, you are qualified to construct a post-surgery rehab program. If you’re an Ayurvedic professional, you can make dietary suggestions. If you’re a yoga teacher, you should teach yoga and resist the temptation to answer questions you have no expertise in.

I have seen kind, well-meaning yoga teachers give useless — or even harmful — advice when they don’t recognize the limits of their knowledge. If someone approaches me with clinical depression, chronic back pain or shortness of breath, it is irresponsible of me to suggest that meditation or ujjayi breathing will solve the issue. The student needs professional help that I am simply not qualified to offer, and I do myself and the student no favors by pretending that I am. This can be difficult for new teachers, especially, who are enthusiastic and optimistic about the healing power of yoga, so they can ask a more senior teacher. I’m not saying we can’t give people tools to help with serious issues; I’m just saying we should treat the student as we would our own sister, father or best friend and encourage them to seek the help they need.

I hope this summary gives you something to consider if you’re on the path of finding a teacher. Whether it is a yoga teacher you seek, or another type of teacher that you are looking for, these five considerations can help you find a genuine teacher who can truly guide you on your path. 

If you’re interested in learning more about Shadow Yoga, please view our schedule of yoga classes and offerings, visit our yoga studio in Bend, Oregon, or have a look at the Shadow Yoga founders and their philosophy.

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